This past weekend was my youngest daughter’s 13th birthday. I wanted to make the event PERFECT. In addition to having a dinner with two truly special friends on Thursday night – – a gift in itself – – she had another little buddy join us a Saturday trek to the Waterfowl Festival on the Eastern Shore. Growing up, I went to the Waterfowl Festival every year without fail- -and let me tell you…it’s a big deal. So many things to see and do….the International Duck and Goose calling contest (a must see), waterfowl carvings that could pass for the real thing, scrumptious food, lovely artwork, an historic decoy auction, Hunter/Retriever trials, and an entire town completely shut down for the weekend event.

We got up early, picked up Bateman’s friend Alice and were on our way over, excited about what the day held. An hour and a half into the drive, and almost there, we passed by an enormous billboard that read, “Waterfowl Festival, Easton, Maryland, November 14, 15, 16” My heart dropped. I was a week early. Bateman had seen the billboard too and after she let out a little groan, we had one of those lovely mother-daughter moments in which the first thing she said, already took into account our mutual yet unspoken understanding. “I love you Mom,” Bateman said tenderly. Wrapped up in a single “I love you” she managed to deliver a “thank you” and an “I forgive you,” all in one. Inherent in that response was also a “what you mean to me is worth more than what you do for me.” Grace, love, gratitude, kindness and gentleness. Sometimes our children so beautifully reflect the love of God.

Well I love you too, Bateman.

Meanwhile back in Alexandria, we had left some of Bateman’s birthday treats out on the counter. Our dog “Trouble,” trying to sneak some goodies in our absence, managed to ignite our gas stove. So when I called my husband to let him know I had blown the dates of the Waterfowl Festival, he ever so carefully asked me, “Would you mind taking me off Bluetooth?” Now, as those of you who know Tim are fully aware, the man has no blood pressure, AT ALL. NOTHING riles him up, so when he asked for special dispensation, all my radar went up. Once in my ear, he said very calmly, really almost conversationally, “Do you mind if I call you back in just a minute; I am on the other line with the Alexandria Police. Apparently the house is on fire and I am on my way home right now to see what’s what.” Well what do you say to that? “Yes, Yes, call me back….”

Truth be told, from that point on, the events of the day did not get any better. While holding my breath to find out whether our house was charred to the ground or just a little on fire, I tried to make up for the fudged Waterfowl dates with a little trail ride at the local Barn. When we got there, the girls were dealt a fat, one-eyed, and Pig-Pen-kind-of-dirty pony. The trail ride was a 1 mph forced march around the barn, a neighboring field and up and down a nearby road. It was a ride on which the leader never let go of the lead line attached to the pony’s head. After the ride, Alice joined the parade of kindnesses, when she insisted upon thanking me profusely and telling me that it was “still fun.” I LOVE kids.

So what is the moral of this sad birthday tale? Well the moral comes from the fact that it wasn’t sad at all… That we still had fun. We still laughed. We still found the joy in what the day did hold. And that night, we ended up meeting the family back in Alexandria, eating at the Burger Joint and going to see Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day – – which was the perfect ending to the perfect day. It IS the journey. It really is. And every single time I make it about the destination, or let circumstances or outcomes dictate my level of satisfaction, I, by definition, am playing God – – I am saying I know how things should play out (which only God does) and react to my made up reality instead of the one unfolding in front of me. But when I embrace whatever comes my way understanding that HOW I move through the moments God gives me is so much more important that WHAT those moments include, then things begin to be fun. When I can inhabit the moments I am in with a measure of humor and not take every moment personally or take myself too seriously… then I am living that abundant life that God says could be mine. God is in charge. He really is. And everything is o.k., even though a lot of times it’s not how I want it or expect it to be. And to really understand that is to let go and laugh at things that would otherwise make me cry.

Lessons Learned: The definition of PERFECT is how it is, not how I might want it to be. So I hope you all enjoy this perfect day.

Remarkably, the House is fine. Thanks to a wonderful neighbor who called the Alexandria Fire department when she saw smoke coming out of our back door, there was actually no damage other than a little bit of charring on the stove and the bits of burned plastic that went airborne and covered the kitchen in a thin layer of “snow.”